Making choices
Yesterday while we were strolling in the park, Ethan was quickly drawn to other kids who were playing football, We all unwittingly, imitate what we see around us.
He is now 2.10 months, he is clever enough to make his choices which I keep giving him in small doses from a very young stage. It is easier to answer if you think about the decisions you let your toddler make. Do you want cereal for breakfast or oatmeal? Do you want to wear your red pants or your green pants? Do you want to hold my hand while walking or you be fine just by yourself? ( LIMITED ONLY TO PARKS AND SAFE ALIES ) For every question, you ask him he will THINK and reply back with exactly what he wants. ‘Just like his dad’. But this time his choice was not holding my hands but Neighbourhood kids, Maybe he felt that’s where he should be in this moment, desire to play football. Which I was quick to notice, and so I asked him would you like to join them, and he said yes, so I was quick to inquire a few things from the coach and he said he can join if he is able to follow my instructions, I supported his choice despite I felt abandoned for a moment, I wasn’t upset but felt emotional about being distant to him, but something else happened once they were closing up he came back to me and he held my hand back, at that moment I felt nothing has changed, everything is normal. As he is growing up he will make choices which I have to support to see him grow into a wise man, if he believes he can do it I want to believe it too. As a mother, I hope he will make wise choices and if I get ever get too worried about him, I want to talk and help him guide and not control, I will always love him and nothing will change that.
After finishing my school I left India for higher studies at a young age, I was away from my family for 6 years. Completely family dependent, an introvert who felt good decision-making was complex and need years of experience, I lacked experience and perspective. I tend to make decisions that were impulsive and focused on immediate gratification. However I met people who helped me in the processes and family was always backing me up, It has been a process since then and I think I still make silly decisions:). We choose actions and form opinions by mental processes which are influenced by biases, reason, emotions, and memories.
Some question whether we really even have free will; others believe it is well within our power to make choices that will lead to greater well-being.
On the other side of the coin: Ethan will push the boundaries. I have to hold the boundaries. I am glad I don’t have any manuals on how to go about such feeling, but to embrace them as they come along and be lead by my motherly soul and direct them in a healthy way. x
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